Why I’ve Been Feeling Like a Failure and How Dried Tomatoes Reminded Me I’m Not

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Beautiful dried tomatoes. Aren’t they lovely? Never would I have thought it would take a dried tomato to pull me out of a homemaking slump, but nevertheless…

Let me back up just a little.

I was so excited to have such a huge garden this year. In previous years we’ve had such a hard time plowing through the sod and trying to deal with the clay that I would either end up with a really small garden or a garden that got flooded out. My mind was filled with images of rows and rows of home canned goods on my pantry shelves and a happy, full family this winter.

The summer started off well enough. I found some good deals on peaches and apricots, so I canned them. I froze plenty of zucchini and yellow squash and filled up my freezer.

Then came the beans. 

I carefully picked, washed, cut, blanched them, and placed them in jars. I placed the lids on and put them in the pressure canner. After the first batch finished and cooled I took them out of the canner only to realize that half of the water had come out during processing. I was upset, but things happen, so I got the next batch ready and put it in.

Again, same thing. Now, feeling pretty upset, I put in the final batch to just have it fail as well.

I tossed my kitchen towel on the counter and went upstairs to breath. “I’m done with canning.” I thought. “What on earth is wrong with me?”

Over the next few days I silently fumed about my canning mess. Trying to figure out what I did wrong and what was wrong with my canner. (Of course I finally realized it was siphoning and I wasn’t closing my lids tight enough and getting a little too much in the jars.) Once I calmed down and reminded myself that from not canning at all last year (while we were in the camper) I had just forgotten a few things (and still can’t find my canning notes and books!).

I really needed to take a step back and figure out why I decided it was ok to get so upset over something that was honestly not that big of a deal.

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Here’s where the dried tomatoes come in.

Canning tomatoes has been a struggle in the last few weeks. I do not like the taste of adding lemon juice into canned tomatoes and citric acid isn’t an option for my son. I froze a few bags, but when my freezer filled up and I had 50 pounds of tomatoes on my table, I wondered where I was supposed to go from here. Already fed up from canning and preserving in general, I stopped staring at the totes of tomatoes that needed to be worked on and went into my pantry to clean it up. Out of the corner of my eye I spotted my dehydrator, sitting on the shelf and just waiting for fruit season (we love dried fruit!). I pulled it off the shelf, cleaned it all up and began slicing the tomatoes. Hubby came in the kitchen to see what I was working on and I told him (and was way too excited about this!) “I’m going to dry them! I’m going to dry the tomatoes!” Not only would it solve my tomato issue, but also help with a huge storage issue we are facing. Plus, it did not heat up my kitchen like canning.

But coming up with a solution for the tomatoes is not the end to my story. I’ve felt like a failure all summer. Canning? That’s my thing! Homemaking and food storage? That’s my thing! I was glad I finally solved my homemaking problem with the dried tomatoes, but not happy about my feelings over the last few weeks.

The truth is, I needed this lesson. I needed to fail and have to find another solution. I needed to remember that I’m no Martha Stewart. None of us are. In fact, Martha Stewart isn’t even Martha Stewart. She’s made up of many many people that are testing and trying things out until they have a perfect version. That perfection is the only part we see, we don’t see the trial and error. The tears and the frustration. The failure. And I wish we did.

We are all just human. All trying to do the best for our families. Failing isn’t the end of the road, it’s just showing us and those around us that we are trying! We are going to have great days and we are going to have not so great days. We are going to create something perfect and sometimes we are going to cover the stove top in a tea and soap mixture mess that doesn’t seem to scrape off no matter what. It’s going to happen and it’s totally ok because it happens to everyone, whether than can admit it or not. It’s just part of the learning process and it reminds us that not one of us can ever be perfect, but it’s how we make it through these times of difficulty and what we learn from them that makes us better.

So I want you to know: sometimes I’m a failure and that’s totally ok with me.

merissabio

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50 Comments

  1. Sometimes, all God needs to do is humble us to get us back on the right track and to keep us in balance. I too have been canning quite a bit and with working on our home have gotten out of balance. I am happy that you found success with drying tomatoes. Just remember, it was just a test.

    1. Yes I agree “It is a test”we need to humble ourselves & keep asking for strength to get us thru each one of our so called disasters,my batch of strawberry jam I made yesterday did not set so I went to work today & re boiled it & has set,and it even tasted great,just keep looking up & don’t give up,you’ve had a big 1st year & done very well,we are all here to encourage each other.

  2. Isn’t life funny? Just when you think you’ve got it licked..here comes that proverbial monkey wrench!! Being older,at 54 these goofy things don’t bother me like they used to. But boy,did they used to! I am so happy you see that it isn’t failing,just learning.Keep trying,learning,and laughing..don’t ever give up!

  3. I have been feeling like a failure with all things homemaking also. My garden first flooded then dried up.I have just been learning new recipes and every time my food doesnt look like the picture i am going for i wanna cry like a baby.I always feel like my home is never clean enough or organized good enough. I dont even wanna get started on homeschooling sometimes i wanna run out of the room.But then i have to constantly remind myself that no one is perfect and all i can do is try my best.But somehow even though i know all that i still find myself pouting and frustrated with all these things. I guess all of us mamas are like that fighting for what we think perfect is.Have a good weekend!

  4. I am so sorry about the beans. So much work! Having two littles makes it pretty tough to do things like you used to, too. I am imaging lots of beautiful jars of dried tomatoes on your shelves.

  5. Thank you for this post Merrisa! I am doing my first stab at canning (water bath) and I’m not exactly a spring chicken and my kids are grown. But it’s something I’ve always wanted to do. I am right now making a batch of tomato jam. The last few days I’ve been researching and reading and worrying about the what ifs. But so what if it doesn’t work out. I’ll see what happens and if it doesn’t I’ll figure out how to do it differently next time. I tried to teach my kids that failing is only a part of learning and it’s just as important as success – maybe more. I needed to be reminded of that so thank you from the bottom of my heart. I admire you greatly! God bless!

  6. I have never added lemon juice or anything except a little salt (if I remember to even do that) to my tomatoes when I can them. They have always been ok … then I add whatever else I want when I use them. Just a little tip when canning tomatoes!

  7. I hope you didn’t toss all the beans. I saw a post on Simply canning about liquid loss, and the author there said they are still good to use, just use them first. http://bit.ly/1CxMcQw is a link to the article.

    I’ve also had pretty good liquid loss when I canned some peaches last year. The worst that happened was some discoloration, but they still tastes pretty good!

    I think if you use a pressure canner you don’t need to add an acid to tomatoes. But I’m glad that you figured out another way to save on storage space. I wish I had a dehydrator. I miss making jerky and fruit leather and all that other fun stuff.

  8. I’m so glad I read this! I’ve been feeling this way about several things… but I keep telling myself that there’s a learning curve to everything and I need to be patient with myself; and it’s ok to cut myself some slack every now and again.
    I would like to know how to freeze tomatoes though… I’ve never done that and I’ve got some that I would like to put away!
    Keep Smiling! 🙂

  9. Feel ur pain! Started two hives of honeybees this spring. One hive absconded mid-summer. That means they R-U-N-N-O-F-T…
    Anyway, the other hive didn’t produce enough honey for them and us too, so I left it for them. On the up side, the remaining hive does seem healthy. Oh well…next year…

    1. Good luck with the bees, Bart. We started off with 2 hives this spring, too. Aren’t they fun to watch? Hope they make it through winter for ya and you’ll be “In the honey” (sing that rhyming with “in the money”) next year. You’ll be glad you left your babies with some liquid gold to make it through.

  10. You only fail if you haven’t tried and it certainly doesn’t mean YOU are a failure. You gain wisdom through experience. Enjoy your beautiful dried tomatoes!

  11. This is a wonderful post. I love your honesty. If i may share a bit with you?- My husband actually went to aug college many years ago. We have gardened together for the last 16 years. We have had this problm or that one lost whole crops of heirloom winter squash two years in a row for example. But over all we harvest enough to feed ourselves and about 10 families out of gardens each year. This year if we could make a mistake we made it. If it wasnt us then we had seeds that did germinate. Lost the tomato and pepper AND celery crop 3 times this year before we could plant then it was the middle of June before we could plant them! I was beyond depressed. I felt like such a failure. Then I was weeding andplanting and was so excited o see how well the experimental beans were doing. Then I had a change of mind and the whole garden (actually both of them) turned into a big expeirment. This changed my attitude completely and as my attitude got better so did my husbands! Now the joy is back in gardening for the both of us! Even though this year will be our worst gardening year EVER we are both handling it much better and enjying our success together. Life is an expeirment-dont let the bad bugs and weeds get you down.

  12. Just loved this post. I am sorry for your frusteration, but you are so right about how nobody is Martha Stewart (including herself). Just as the Mr. Perfect Husband in some movie is written by a team of writers and producers honing the lines and editng to make this person seem like an actual human being…

    I had a bad preserving failure once… I was so dissapointed when my first good crop of corn yielded rubbery freezer corn from my mom’s delicious freezer corn recipie that I remembered… All that time and effort and garden space wasted!

    And I totally hear you on gardens. Friends of mine have been influenced by my (half dead)garden and they have decided to take it up as well.. Then they ask me for tips… And I am thinking “I don’t know! I’m not as good at this as you think!” But the trial and error, the harvests, and the lessons learned are so valuable. sometimes you can do everything right and still have something go wrong whether it is your fault or not, but you just roll with it and make adjustments. Don’t be too hard on yourself- it is your maiden year in gardenting in that location, you have been remodeling and parenting!

  13. Ive never waterbathed tomatoes. Ive always used a pressure canner. Some places say to add the acid while pressure canning, some don’t. I’m wondering, though, vegetables are low acid (beans carrots) and you don’t add acid to pressure can.

      1. Merissa, my understanding for adding lemon juice/citric acid to tomatoes is to up the acid content of “todays” tomatoes. They have been “modified” to have less acid. Therefore, it is recommended to add an acid for safe shelf life. I’ve been canning for 42 years and only recently (the last 10 years or so) started canning my tomatoes with lemon juice or citric acid. I have always water bathed my tomatoes but I also freeze them and dehydrate some. Also, someone asked about freezing tomatoes. I just prepare them as for canning, them freeze them raw. That way, I can use them in any recipe and add extra ingredients at that time. Teri

  14. I am drying tomatoes right now too! I did these a year or so ago, a huge plastic jar type tub and my husband, the meat eater, actually took them to work for snacks. He loved the concentrated flavor and I loved how pretty they look!

  15. Thanks for posting this Merissa. I’ve been going through something like it the last few months. I invested in a freezer to make homemade meals to store. I thought I could save some money as well as know what is going in the food. There have been a few disasters that ended up in the trash, which was a waste of money, time, and so frustrating. NOT giving up however. This post made me see I am not the only one, and that’s a relief.

  16. When I saw the title of your article then read it I thought……”Wow she MUST have been at my house recently!!!” because this tomato dehydrating happened the EXACT same way with me lol! My husband thought I was silly for acting so excited about it!

  17. Thank you! I have tons of tomatoes this year and I have been canning and freezing for weeks. I have even been dehydrating herbs the last 2 weeks and never thought to dry the tomatoes. I hate looking at all the tomatoes dying shriveling on the vine and feel guilty for not using them. So tomorrow they get dehydrated!

  18. I would love to dehydrate my tons of tomatoes, but I do not have a dehydrator nor can afford one this summer/fall due to unplanned expenses. Can I use my oven instead? If so, what temp might I try and for how long?

  19. Glad everyone on here seems to be in the Tomatoes’ The darn deer got all
    of ours just when they were ripening’ Never bothered them other years’ Oh well,there’s always next year’

  20. You shouldn’t feel down about yourself. You are amazing! I’ve learned so much from you and other homestead blogs. You all actually made me feel better when the squash beetles got my zucchini or when my kitchen looked like the aftermath of a serious food fight when I prepared tomatoes for freezing the first time. Life is not perfect for any of us. I must say that you young women work SO hard.and you know so much. Be proud.

  21. I am so proud for you.just because we HAVE failures does not mean we ARE failures. If we’re not making mistakes, we’re nnot doing any thing.

  22. I never add anything to my tomatoes when I can them. My big failure this year is roasted tomatoes.
    I had no problem with this last year, but can’t seem to get them right this year. Oh well tomorrow is another day and I will keep trying.

  23. Merissa,
    Thank you for being so transparent in your walk towards a healthy, semi self-sufficient lifestyle. Growing up in a metro area, there wasn’t much of a need to garden, can, or so forth. Now that I live in a more rural area and I am trying to feed three teenaged boys, I try to can and freeze, and coupon and do whatever to stretch my money. My oldest son would drink salsa if I would let him and I used to spend a fortune on buying it. Now, I make my own and can it in quart sized jars. He thinks it is the best ever. Thanks for your blog and teaching me so many things. You are amazing and congratulations on your new home. May God bless you and your family.

  24. Good morning. I was just reading through your post sounds like once you found your center you were able to do something with all those tomatoes! 🙂 One thing, my Mama and Granny have always canned, everything from tomatoes to chow chow pickle and everything in between and when they can tomatoes all they add to the jars is a tsp. of canning salt. That’s it, nothing else and their tomatoes always come out beautiful and taste like tomatoes, nothing else. Maybe next year you can try canning some with out the lemon or citric acid. Just add canning salt. Love your post and your website.

  25. Thanks for this! It was very encouraging. I am so much a perfectionist, and have just started canning this year. It has gone pretty well, but this weekend I tried making hot pepper jelly and it didn’t turn out too great. The tomatoes aren’t quite ripe yet, but I’m going to try canning and dehydrating some. I enjoy your posts! 🙂

  26. Hey there! This may have been discussed in previous comments and I’m just missing it… I water bath can my tomatoes. I don’t add anything to them but salt, and sometimes some basil & garlic. I’ve never ever had a problem with them and came across a can a few weeks ago that was from 2009. I opened them up preparing for the worst, however they were perfect. My pressure canner doubles as a water bath canner, so I just use that pot… I’ve yet to pressure can anything.
    Have a blessed day!!

  27. Feeling like a failure lately. Yep! I have been purging the contents of our whole property this summer, sheds, garage and house with some help. I have also just finished two (command centers) in my home. One large calendar and bulletin board with a intercom system with a (drop table) and timer. The other a center for a college study area. In the meantime, I can barely get any meals on the table and I am tired mentally and physically. Working on one area means I fail in another. I feel guilty when I can’t do it all.

  28. Thank you for all of the advice and helpful tips that you post. I really appreciate the time you spend sharing with the rest of us. Thank you

    Dehydrated tomatoes (mostly Roma’s) have been a staple in our home for years. Storage space is an issue so we take the process one step further, we powder the dried tomatoes. After the tomatoes are dried powder them in the food processor, pour into a jar and vacuum seal. Now you have a very concentrated version on tomatoe sauce / paste and you save the space of an additional 4 jars. Works great for pasta sauce, chili, soup etc. Just a hint to file away.

    Have a Wonderful Day

    1. I’ve considered powdering some of the tomatoes as well. I think I want to use some on pizzas though so I will plan on leaving some whole…they are so good and I’m just loving them so far!

  29. Even though your beans lost liquid, they are still edible and will store. When you use them you can add a little liquid if it is needed then. I admire you so much and look what you have accomplished and with 2 little ones as well. You and your husband seem like a great team. God bless you!

  30. Thank you, Merissa. I needed to hear these words of encouragement. I feel like a failure with a lot of things….a lot of the time. I’m going to remember the things you said here….about finding different solutions & that there is no such thing as a perfect Martha Stewart. Thanks again! 🙂

  31. Just a reminder about dehydrators… They dehydrate veggies too! The dehydrated veggies last years. I dehydrate kale, greens, carrots, tomatoes, green beans, peas, anything out of the garden. Then I throw them in my stews and soups during winter and use some for seasoning as well, like tomatoes and peppers.
    Great article. Thanks for being real.