How We Went From Penniless to Freedom

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Hi! I’m Merissa and this is my story…..

I was raised in a pretty typical home, out on the prairie in South Dakota. During my growing-up years, I struggled with bullying and teasing (mostly from the youth group that I attended) due to the fact that my family didn’t seem to have as much money as everyone else.

It never seemed to bother me, no we didn’t always have the latest and the greatest but we had land and a mini ranch and I liked it! I had no idea that the next years in my life would be filled with heartache, the joys of adoption, the mysteries of a cult, and more moves than I could count on one hand.

The Early Years of Marriage

I met my husband, David when we were just 16 and we married at age 19. We were young, and not quite sure what we were doing so we subjected ourselves to some big moves in the first year of marriage.

After another big move we settled into a rental home in town in the middle of December. It was cold and the house was very old and poorly insulated.

Despite our best efforts (and a bout of sickness) we had a hard time finding good-paying jobs in South Dakota in December and didn’t have the money to pay for the first months rent so we agreed to exchange work on the house instead.

We had no idea what we were getting into, the owner wanted us to replace the entire shower and paint the whole house plus more. My husband worked all day at his job in construction and was so tired at night we didn’t get much worked on.

For months, we had no shower and we didn’t have the money to pay to heat the house with propane so we bought an electric heater and blocked off all the rooms but the bedroom and living room. We worked and did what we could to make very little and just try to get by. We even delivered newspapers for a little extra income.

Merissa And David

I realized we reached a low point when I went out to the kitchen to make supper but all I had was a package of pasta and some bread crumbs and I tried to make my husband a good supper with that. He ate it, but all I remember is how awful it was.

I had to do something different. We couldn’t live like this.

I put out a cry for food on a local message board and a lady responded. She brought over a whole box full of food plus a few extras like napkins. I cried after she left, I don’t even remember her name but she had such an impact on the way I would live.

When spring came, we realized we had to get out of that rental house. We made an agreement to finish up working on the house to get out of our contract and we bought a camper.

We lived in that camper for about 9 months and we worked on paying off all our debts in order to buy our first house. David had gotten a new job and so did I and even though we didn’t have much, things were better. We worked hard, we had a plan and there was light at the end of the tunnel.

me

Our First House

We started looking for a house in September and finally found one in December. (Not the one in the picture above…but it was near that!) By then it was so cold out all the pipes had frozen in the camper so we had no running water. The bank had issues with our paperwork and it was taking longer than normal to get it finished.

Finally, in January we were able to move into our very first house.

I loved being a housewife and living out in the country. I’m a true country girl at heart. I make my sun tea in an old gallon pickle jar and walk barefoot everywhere in the summer. Since we’ve always lived a ways from town we usually just have to make the best with what we have.

Growing up my mom taught me a lot of great homemaking skills and I’m definitely using the skills I learned. I have my own huge garden and I enjoy preserving the bounty. I also like making things from scratch…not just foods, but everything from household cleaners to homemade body products.

lhlwayback

I decided to put these skills to use and also share about them with others. In 2009, Little House Living was born and I began working at home full time on the blog.

After what had happened to us after we were first married I promised that once we got in a better situation I wanted to do whatever I could to help people that might be in the same situation that we were in or others who are just looking to make the best with what they have, no matter their income.

Some days I wish my story ended there….happily ever after in a little house on the prairie. But it doesn’t.

A few years after moving into our little green house, our marriage was struggling. Not only were we struggling with infertility, but I learned that my husband was in a cult.

Not really what you expected to hear was it?

I detail this story in my most recent book, Living Slower so if you want to check out the entire thing, you will want to read that book. I’ll summarize here….things were not good.

But then, Jesus.

Don’t believe he can open the eyes of the blind? Well, I’ve seen him do just that.

my baby

Our Babies and More Moving

We spent 2012 fighting to adopt a sweet little boy we had taken care of since birth. On March 11, 2013, our dream came true and our family of 2 became a family of 3 with a court hearing and a signing of some papers.

We also decided that 2013 was going to be our year for hope, for change, and for a better life. So we decided to move back into an RV to be able to pay off all our debt. We were just modern day homesteaders…looking to always make our life better!

Shortly after moving into the rv we decided to travel and made preparations to do so. Just a month before we were setting out to leave we ended up taking a huge financial hit on our house we were selling and collected a large amount of debt.

farmhouse

Knowing that travel wasn’t going to be an option anymore we asked for guidance and an open door and ended up putting in an offer on a farmstead 4 hours from “home”.

Our offer was accepted and we spent 5 months fixing up our little farmhouse to make it livable, but we loved every crooked wall and were happy to call it home. A fresh start is exactly what our family needed.

us2

Shortly after moving into the farmhouse we learned that we were chosen to be the parents of another little boy and our family grew to 4. We were busier than ever with 2 little ones running around but felt so blessed!

Not long after we realized that the tiny farmhouse was just too tiny and being unable to add on(it was literally built on top a hand-dug cave) we moved yet again into a larger farmhouse.

Merissa

A few years after the move, we were chosen to be the parents of a little girl. We had 3 children ages 5 and under…those were some fun days!

With 3 children all with varying special needs, we felt like we were being led once again to move, this time, to follow wherever God would lead. In 2018 we packed up our belongings, selling 75% of what we have, and moving back into an RV and doing mission work for 6 months. David ended up completing a 2 year online Bible school and we also served as pastoral interns.

Our Homestead

Building A Homestead

After our internship, we felt the call to go back home, to the Black Hills. We thought maybe we’d move to Missouri, Montana, or some other place, but this is where He wanted us to be.

While house hunting, we came across 20 of the dumpiest, dirtiest acres that I’d ever seen. But it was cheap and we knew it was important to not go into massive debt. We also planned on building our own home with only the cash we had so we needed to stay frugal.

In 2020, we purchased what would become Refuge Hill Homestead. We spent 2 years building our own home with our own 2 hands. Really!  (And cleaning up the massive mess that was on the land) We also started another business in 2021 (a bulk foods coop!) which gave us a better income to be able to work on our land and home.

elk

Not long after we settled in, the opportunity came for us to buy an additional 80 acres adjoining what we have. I never thought I’d have a beautiful 100 acres with hills, woods, meadows, valleys, and a nightly elk viewing…but here we are.

During this time we’ve been able to provide a refuge for others looking to take a break from the hustle and bustle of this crazy life. We’ve been able to provide for our family and make new connections.

But now, the time has come for us to follow God’s lead again and move on….

…to be continued… 🙂

with kids

What I’ve Learned

I’ve always believed that there are many things you can do to make the best of every situation. So when I started this site in 2009, my goal was to I wanted to show them that it’s possible to be not only frugal but smart in so many areas of your life.

In more recent years after I’ve written more about homesteading and simple living, I’ve realized that there are so many other moms/grandmas/parents out there just like me that are wanting to live the simple/slower life but have a hard time finding time to do it. We appreciate the simple life and want to make the most of it.

Sometimes it’s not just about what you have or what you can get, it’s how we look at our situation.

I hope my site inspires you to make the most of everything you have, and to feel encouraged when you feel overwhelemed. As a mom of special needs kids that is running her home and running a business, I know exactly what it’s like to feel that way.

Please feel free to email me ([email protected]) anytime with any questions or comments you might have or even if you just want to share your story with me. I love to hear from my readers and I feel blessed that I can be in your lives.♥

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