Where I’ve Been For the Past Few Months

This post may contain affiliate links. Read our disclosure policy here.

I’m not quite sure how to put this post together or even how I feel about posting it. But in a way, I feel like writing everything down might be therapeutic and it might even be something someone else out there can identify with and not feel quite so alone.

It’s no secret that we’ve dealt with infertility for a long time. 13 years in fact. During that time or trying every “cure” there was out there I was diagnosed with endometriosis by a discovery surgery in 2021. It wasn’t really a surprise to me since I’d been dealing with immense pain over the years.

rest

We tried many different treatments with many different doctors and nothing worked at all. We always dreamed of having a big family (something that I believe God is still able to bless us with) but it never happened.

If you’ve followed me for a long time, you know that we chose to do foster care and adopted our first son in 2013. After that, we were immensely blessed to be chosen twice by mothers to adopt our second son and then our daughter (2014 and 2017). We are so thankful and grateful to have the children that we have and we treasure them every day. None of those adoptions were easy and they’ve come with many challenges such as special diagnoses for the kids and many special needs. But we are still blessed and grateful that their birth mothers chose life and somehow, we were chosen to parent those children.

But since my surgery last year I felt like things were not complete in our home. Whether that be through further adoptions or some kind of miracle pregnancy, I’m still not sure, but since we are getting older (34 and 35) we felt like the time to move forward was now.

We started by becoming foster parents once again. We aren’t sure if that will lead to anything in the future or not, but we want that door to be open. We’ve actually already been matched with 2 sets of siblings but neither match was the right fit for our family.

We also started seeing a specialist, just in case something might ever work out for us to have a biological child.

In October 2022 I found out I was pregnant. I woke up one morning feeling a little odd and took a test but it was negative. Two days later I took another test and it was unmistakably positive. My doctor called with the bloodwork results and said congratulations. We could not believe it!

In the days that followed, my anxiety started to build up. Something didn’t feel right but I wasn’t sure how to explain that. I started to have quite a bit of morning sickness (all day long) and was exhausted. Normal things that we would expect with pregnancy. I convinced myself things were ok because of those symptoms.

In a few weeks, we had our first ultrasound. Seeing the baby and her little heartbeat was the most incredible feeling. There she was, growing and alive and amazing. Everything seemed to be ok and we were not given any reason to worry but something still was not right in my heart.

A few weeks later we went in for another ultrasound to see how everything was progressing. I told the ultrasound tech that I felt like something was not right but I didn’t know why. She started her exam and never turned the screen toward us. After a few minutes, she stopped and said she was sorry but she could no longer find the heartbeat.

quote

I spent the rest of the day in bed in tears. I didn’t understand why we would finally get our baby, only for her to be taken away. We visited with my doctor via video conference and she gave us a few options. A few days later we met with a local doctor and decided that since my body was not progressing with the miscarriage that surgery would be our best option to be able to move on. We scheduled it for the following day.

Unfortunately, I woke up the next morning with Covid. I guess my body wasn’t mad enough at me yet. We had to call and delay the surgery of course until I recovered.

I finally was able to have my surgery and it didn’t go the greatest. I fought against the anesthesia and woke up feeling terrible. Even though I should have been able to go home an hour or two after waking up, I was in the recovery room for over 4 hours and still felt awful when I left.

Two days later the nurse called and asked that I come in immediately. They needed to do another ultrasound just to make sure that everything was ok. I was frustrated to have to drive back to town (70 miles for us!) but we did it anyway.

After the ultrasound, the nurse came in and told us the surgery was not successful. I’m pretty sure I just sat there and said nothing. She said the doctor was busy but would call me later after we reviewed everything and made a plan. (This was on a Friday.)

post

The doctor called me that night. She said not only had she reviewed all of my ultrasounds and information, but she had called a specialist for their input. She said I had a Cornual Pregnancy.

Source

(How no one caught this before I have no idea.) She was extremely concerened and told me I needed to be at the office right away on Monday. If anything felt wrong she told me to go to the ER immediately. She called me multiple times over the weekend to check in and make sure I was ok.

Monday morning we headed in for more testing. Although they confirmed that the baby had passed, my HCG levels were still sky high. The doctor again consulted with the specialist and they determined they needed to do surgery again. (This was 5 days after my first surgery.)

I was sent straight over to the hospital to get prepped and had my second surgery in under a week that night. I woke up and had a better recovery this time but unfortuntely had a very poor experience with hospital staff. (My recovery nurse read me my discharge papers while I still had my IV in and was not fully awake so that she could go eat supper and then she left me.)

I went home feeling terrible but started feeling better soon. My nausea was finally starting to die down and the doctor called a few days later to say that this surgery was successful and everything was looking good now.

cabin

The following week (6 days after the second surgery), I was feeling really good and we headed out to our annual trip to a forest service cabin in the mountains. It was only 2 nights and I was feeling much better. I was not overexerting myself (at least I didn’t think so) and this was a nice relaxing trip. We arrived to our cabin and all was well for a little while.

Early the next morning I started bleeding. It wasn’t constant but it was a considerable amount. We called the doctors office and spoke to the nurse and she reassured us that this was ok. Some bleeding was normal after surgery. I knew that was true but also thought it weird that my bleeding after surgery had fully stopped and this was new, but we decided to trust the nurse and continue to enjoy our getaway.

That night I woke up every hour and was still bleeding. At 1 am, I woke up again to go to the bathroom but instead, ended up not being able to stand upright because of a sudden and intense pain. I started crying and crying out in pain and made it to the bed. I told my husband it would probably be ok, that the pain would pass. He didn’t believe me and wanted us to go in to the ER right away. But I didn’t want to go, I didn’t want to get the kids up in the middle of the night and it was extremely cold outside. (-42 degrees F air temp, not wind chill, we learned later)

I finally couldn’t stand the pain so I gave in. Unfortunately our truck was not able to be parked next to the cabin because of the amount of snow. In order to get there we had to hike uphill, in 2 feet of snow, in -40f temps. I have no idea how I made it.

By some miracle our truck started in that weather and we started the trek down the mountains. It had snowed another 5 inches the day before and there was no service until we got into town. I was in pain but dealing with it for the first 15 minutes. Then suddenly I started bleeding heavily and didn’t stop. There was no more questions about getting to the ER, I was crying out in pain and (I thought) bleeding to death.

My husband David called 911 as soon as we got into service. The police let the ER (small town) know we were coming about 5 minutes before we got there. The nurse unlocked the doors and had to call and wake the doctor up. I was bleeding very heavily and it did not stop for quite a while.

After several hours and with many different exams and tests and medications, the doctor was able to slow the bleeding. He came in my room and told me they did not have the capabilities to do the surgery that I needed if I were to keep bleeding. They would do everything they could and then as long as I was fairly stable, they told us we needed to get back to the city (4 hours away) as quickly as I could or stop at any ER along the way.

I was released at about 8am and we made it back into town at noon. My doctor already knew what was going on and was ready for us. They did more exams at the clinic but did not find the source of the bleeding. Their best guess was that retained tissue had made it’s way into my tube or another area and on top of it all, it looks like I had at least one ovarian cyst burst at the same time.

home

The doctor decided to keep me overnight at the hospital for observation and more medication to get things calmed down. I was just able to get released and come home on the night of December 23rd, thankfully allowing us to spend Chistmas together as a family.

When everything happened with the miscarriage, all I wanted was normal back. I had no idea what the next few weeks would bring and here I am, still wanting normal back.

I am still a long ways from recovery, both mentally and physically. At the moment, I’m unable to stand and walk around for long periods of time and am still shaky from the blood loss. Not to mention my stomach hasn’t been my friend for a while from all of the medications that I had to be given through surgeries and treatments.

But I’m determined to be well again and I look forward to getting back to our “normal”, whenever that may be. My friends in real life know that I don’t believe there is any shame in seeking help when you need it and I have established counseling/therapy again to deal with the trauma. If you are in a similar position to myself, I highly encourage you to seek the same. When you are so caught up in what is going on in your own mind, it helps to have someone else to come alongside you to help you with things you don’t even realize you need help with.

I want to publically thank my husband David for being there for me every minute of the way. I also want to thank my ER doctor and my nurse Robyn for helping me in what was one of my worst moments. I’m also thankful for all the other doctors and nurses that have worked hard on trying to figure out my case and have held my hand (literally) so many times in the past couple of weeks.

kitty

Like I said at the beginning, I wanted to share this because I needed to write out what has happened in the past couple of weeks and I also hope that this reaches someone that has gone through something similar. You are not alone. I understand your pain in a multitude of ways and will be here as someone to talk to if you need it. At this time, I’m still dealing with my own pain both mentally and physically but if you just need someone to talk to that has gone through what you’ve gone through, I’m a listening ear.

As I’m finally back at home and hoping to get back to normal, I’m very much looking forward to blogging again. I have SO many blog posts that I’ve put together and just haven’t published yet so I hope to catch up in the coming months. Thank you for sticking through my absence and for all of the messages and emails that I’ve recieved so far. Please know that I do read all of them even though I haven’t had a chance to respond to all.

 

Print Friendly, PDF & Email

Support Little House Living by Sharing This

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

100 Comments

  1. Thank you for your vulnerability, and I’m so sorry for the many losses you’ve experienced on your journey, and especially the life of your little one. I’m praying for your healing and recovery.

  2. I’m so very sorry for your loss.
    With all the medical intervention and drama that ensued, it sounds like it may have been difficult to process the loss in itself and I hope now that the physical healing is underway, you will be able to take the time needed for grieving your beautiful daughter. Unfortunately I understand all of the above too well and would really encourage your family to mark her presence in your life and on your hearts. It may bring great solace in the future to be able to easily talk about her and what you had hoped for her life.
    I applaud your bravery in sharing your journey and thank you for your willingness to discuss such a difficult event.

    1. Thank you, Zoe. I’m hoping that the medical part is over for us and now we will be able to properly grieve. I’m happy that I will have a counselor/therapist to work with during this time.

  3. I am so sorry to hear about all you have been through in the last few months. I miscarried my third child many years ago and it is a time I return to often in my mind. Know that our Lord is always alongside you. Blessings to you and your family Merissa, Merry Christmas and to a New Year filled with the contentments of life.

  4. Prayers for you. We had one pregnancy and miscarriage, then no more. But, we have two wonderful and beautiful daughters through adoption. Thank you for being so vulnerable. I’m sure others will be encouraged by your strength and your trust in the Lord. I heard a radio program once and the person was talking about miscarriage and infertility…they said that apparently the Lord believes you are strong enough to endure it and He will also give you strength to make it through stronger than before. It helped me to think that the Lord allowed it to happen to me because He thought I was strong enough to endure with His help. Not sure this makes sense, but I was encouraged by the thought.

  5. Oh, my goodness, what a terrible time. God is faithful and has gotten you this far, He will not fail you. We are not meant to understand everything that happens, but God is ever faithful, ever trustworthy, and He never ever changes. Praying blessing and healing over you and your family.

  6. Merissa – I am so sorry to hear this. I have been reading your blog for several years and ordered your book for Christmas. I can’t believe you signed and mailed it during this experience. It’s been a bright spot in my holiday, and I can’t wait to read your new posts this year. I hope this holiday season brings a tremendous amount of rest and peace for your family.

  7. I have been a reader for a few months now and like your blog and focus on simpler living.
    I also just wanted to say that I am sorry you have gone through all of this! Surgery, pregnancy loss, and infertility are all so difficulty to bear at times. My husband and I also adopted after my infertility, and I am a veteran of several surgeries for endo related things. I will keep you and your family in my prayers and I hope that you have a chance to heal in all ways now and in the new year.

  8. I am so sorry for the loss your family has suffered and the trauma you have gone through. I will be praying for you.

  9. Just read your blog..i am sad that you endured so much..keep your faith..and i have you and your family in my prayers..debbie

  10. You are in my prayers! I am wiping tears after reading this, I pray that your beautiful heart heals from this tragedy and your spirit be not broken. Much care, Jennifer

  11. I am so sorry. Thank you for sharing such a personal experience. I’ll be praying for your healing, both physically and mentally. And just know that you’re not alone.

  12. Dear Merissa,
    Praying for comfort, healing and peace for you dear. You are very special to so many of us, and a precious child of God. I won’t pretend to have any understanding of this kind of suffering, in my 65 years of life all I can add is the knowledge that no experience, no matter how painful is wasted. I believe deeply in restoration, and that your life matters here. Sending so much love to you and your husband and family.
    Mary Grace Almleaf

  13. I am so sorry to hear of all you have gone through! I’m thankful you have received the medical care you needed when you needed it. (Although I’m mad about that one recovery room nurse. Shame on her!) Take time to heal. God is so good! ❤️

  14. Oh my. So sorry you went through this. So glad you are getting better. I just want to tell you not to give up. My Mom had a tubal pregnancy in her 30’s. They took a ovary & a tube out (she was around 5 mos along). This was in the 50’s before a lot of tests they have now. She had me when she was 40. I was 2 mos early but nothing wrong I only had to weigh 5 lbs to go home. I was a only child. I use to tell her how blessed we both were to have a child with only 1 ovary born 2 mos early & nothing was wrong was a miracle. Keep praying & hoping.💋

  15. Lord Jesus, b w/Merrissa keep her close to ur very heart. She matters to U and so does the precious child she carried. U r a good & perfect God, and we do not understand Ur ways. Thank u that U care.
    B loved today♥️

  16. I am ever sooo sorry you experienced this and am glad you’re getting trauma help.
    Continued prayers for you and your family.

  17. Dear Merissa,
    Thank you for sharing your difficult journey and know we are praying for you. Like you this holiday was not the best for us with the unexpected death of my father-in-law. Thank you for reiterating that it is ok to seek help for mental health. The more people seek counseling and be open about it, the less stigma mental health issues get and hopefully the healthier our society would be as a whole. The Lord is your strength so hang in there.

  18. Oh sweet girl, how my heart hurts for you and your family. I am so very sorry. Please know that my prayers are for you and your family. Our Lord knows and holds each and every tear that is shed by you. May you feel His arms around you and your family.

  19. Many Prayers and Blessing being sent to you and yours. GOD’S WILL BE IN YOUR DAYS TO FOLLOW!
    Thank you for being , string enough to share.
    A Blessed New Year

  20. I am so sorry for your loss. I understand the heartache of miscarriage. Knowing the first face our little girl saw was the face of Jesus and that I will have all of eternity to nurture her brought a healing balm to my hurting heart. May God’s presence bring you peace.

  21. So sorry! Life can be unfair and a mystery why things happens the way they do ..😢
    I write in my journal too it helps me.
    Iam so sorry for the added stress and pain
    Iam praying for you and think your amazing! Jeanette mullen ❤️

  22. I know sorry doesnt help but so many of us are. You have a great family and a loving God to help you thru all of this. Please take care of your self FIRST. All of us second. We will all be right here waiting when you are ready. You have many people praying for you and the family. Susan

  23. I am so sorry for the loss of your precious girl. I’ve followed you for quite a few years, ordered your planner a few times and always enjoy your posts. I, too, have dealt with loss, I had seven miscarriages over 4 years, but we have been blessed and I was finally able to carry and give birth to 6 amazing children, now ages 14-26 (just as we were starting adoption paperwork!). But I remember the pain of every loss, every appointment that showed no heartbeat. It’s so hard sometimes to accept what is happening and know that there is a reason, a plan. But I do find comfort in that thought at times. Take care of yourself, it sounds like you are, and that others are taking care of you too. Hugs sent from one mom to another!

  24. Your message was touching. I’m much older than you but, felt like I could feel some of what you went through. I’m glad you know Christ. I believe you understand in His death He paid for many benefits such as healing, health, and from every curse of the law. I would like to share more with you privately if possible. I would like to pray with you about your situation. I’m sure you have had many prayers yet I would still like to anyway. Pray about it and if the Lord gives you peace, contact me. Meanwhile, I will pray that the Lord will give you the desires of your heart.

  25. I am so sorry for your pain, I fully feel it.
    A similar thing happened to me back in the 80’s (a bad time for medicine) where my baby died inside me at 5 months along. The next day we had a similar situation with trying to deliver him, get him out, hemorraging, bad hospital staff (and hospital was under construction) right during Christmas time. Two weeks later another emergency surgery (twisted colon), but finally home for Christmas and to my two little boys waiting for me. 10 months of solid grieving, months of healing, what a trying time! And while our son Jacob was being stillbirthed, the song Silent Night (by Barbara Streisand) was playing in our room. The next morning the hospital staff brought me roses to congratulate me on the birth of our son. I had to tell them he died. What a challenge that year was! And every year I listen to Silent Night (Jacob’s song) and look at our Christmas tree.
    I too suggest counseling for those who have lost pregnancies/babies. This was not “a thing” in the 80’s, but I wish it had been.

  26. IM AWWWE stricken of your courage and strength i SEE you HAVE, THROUGH “ALL” you’ve been through with your surgery and infertility, etc. Struggles.
    THE dear lord strengthens us, more than we realize sometimes. My Mom always told me I’m stronger than I think… God is by your side, I’m sure of it! Stay strong mentally, faithfully and physically! I personally have never had that kind of struggle in life, but I’ve had my different unique set of issues in life. I’ve been through 2 extra challenging marriages with 1st husband with drug, alcohol related and negative family drama issues.
    And last one turned out to be a tricky con man of sorts, with chronic on/off emotional abuses, prescription drug abuse, manipulative. I AM HEALING FROM. I pray for your healing and can you pray for my healing too? I do have a very supportive Christian non abusive NEW love in my life, since this past August, and first date in church. I still have my bouts of needed healing while my EX (FROM 2 yrs.ago divorce),bothers me to STILL contact him. To check on him since he has brain type cancer, etc. But continually turns into some emotional drama. I’m stumped wether to totally block him ALL the time or not. Danzel. In distress over that. What should I DO? While I constantly need to protect my identity from him trying to open credit on my name. Should I FEEL bad that he still has cancer and emotionally plagues me with his loneliness to call him still once a week? He sure makes me feel bad too! My family says move on to block him ALL the time an don’t call at all anymore. And I have a dear lovey support that is SO supportive for ME, instead of my plate being tipped over constantly with a disabled con type man that took advantage of me. Prayers! We keep strong together! Thanks for your tips too! I saved on my phone!
    Jen.

  27. Wow, you’ve been through so much. Hopefully you’ll be able to get the rest you need and try not to overdo it. I know when I start to feel better after something my son has to remind me not to do too much! Hope that your family and friends rally round & gives you the support that you need.

  28. Dear Merissa, I’m so sorry for your loss and subsequent health issues. I will be praying for you and your family, to heal from the inside out. God be with you and yours always.

  29. My heart feels sad for you and for all you have experienced. I pray that God totally heals your body and emotions. Give your little girl a name and know that she was a person and you will one day meet her. My daughter lost a baby in 2005. She was 5 months pregnant. His name is Sawyer Lane and I have an ornament I put on my tree each Christmas in memory of little Sawyer. His mom will hold him one day and so will I. Your little girl had a purpose, and you will one day understand it. Love and hugs to you!❤️

  30. hello….I’m new to your site, but anxious to learn from you. I was sad to read about the experiences you’ve been having lately, and hope you’re on the mend and will be feeling better soon. Blessings to you and your family as you recover…..dee

  31. How terribly scary and sad. I am sorry you had to go thru such trauma and pain, honey. Bless you and your family. xoxo

  32. I want to tell you how very sorry I am for your pain and emotional loss. You are a faith based person and have a wonderful partnership with your husband. I hope you find your peace and strength as you move forward day by day. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

  33. May your recovery be smooth and steady. It is like climbing a mountain with level pastures along the way. My heart goes out to you with the sorrow from loss of the loved baby. For one who has experienced several miscarriages healing with support of family, loved ones and God does occur. Rest and recover. May your home be Blessed by Faith, Hope, and Guidance from the Lord.

  34. As a mother, I read this with tears streaming down my face. I cannot imagine the pain you’ve been through, physically & emotionally, but am praying for healing for you & also your husband & children. May you feel God’s arms surrounding you, giving comfort.

  35. Merissa, I’m so very sorry for your losses! I am keeping you and your precious family in my prayers! May the Lord comfort and heal you, as only He can. Take care!
    Kerry N.

  36. Oh Merissa I feel your pain so much It is hard to express what all has happened to you and your body I’m a true believer that God knows us and what we can endure. I lost my daughter in June she wasn’t an infant but an adult but she is truly missed because of her love of life and caring spirit I feel that loss so much more. I’m grateful that you have your children to keep you fulfilled it is so wonderful that you were able to adopt so you can experience being a mama you are blessed. I’m also glad that your Husband has been there for you. Keep the Faith!!

  37. What a long, sad lonely road you have been down, Merissa. What a blessing you have your husband, children and your faith.
    We will pray that this coming year brings you peace of mind and heart.
    God bless you all,
    Colleen

  38. I’ve missed your posts and emails.. so sorry for your loss and the trauma you have experienced. Prayers for a full
    Recovery.

  39. I went through something similar with a friend years ago. She had a miscarriage and a D and C. She had just moved to town and I was the only person she knew. Before cell phones, she was able to track me down at the grocery. She was in terrible pain. I headed to her house thinking it couldn’t be serious. When I got there, I knew it was bad. There I was with 4 children 2 to 10 in ages. The two year old was hers. I called a squad. Back then hardly anyone called them. The hospital was 45 minutes away. She had a twin pregnancy and one was left and tubal. Could have been called something else now. They rushed her to surgery. She survived. I called a neighbor to get the children. I was the only one that could give the hospital information. It sounds so much like your experience. She didn’t have the bleeding but it was probably soon to happen. I wish you well.

  40. “Come to me, all you who are weary………”Matthew 11:28
    I have followed your blog for several years. What a series of trials you’ve been through. So glad to hear you are feeling better. Sending sincere thoughts of best wishes, strength and peace to you and your family.

  41. I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I can imagine how your feeling but may the Great Spirit shield you and heal you in the days to come. Wishing you a speedy recovery. 🙏

  42. We my wife and I will be praying for you and yours. Having worked in the medical field myself I have a deep understanding of your pain. Hang in there God is always with you. A new normal will happen it will take a while. Know tho some people do care and will always be ready to help as we can..

  43. You have been through so much- I am so sorry for your loss. Please take care of yourself and don’t worry about blogging. May the Lord bless you and give you peace.

  44. I am so sorry for your loss but thankful for your recovery.
    Your faithful reader Adriana Thomas from the 108 Mile Ranch, BC Canada

  45. Bless your heart. I’m so sorry for your loss and all of the complications you experienced. Keeping you in my prayers.

  46. Oh Merissa, bless your heart.. what a hard year for you <3 So glad we have Jesus in our lives… Praying you will mend quickly so you can be back taking care of your precious family.. God bless you in everything you do <3

  47. Merissa,

    My heart goes out to you and your family. Sounds like you have a lot of support around you. Unfortunately we don’t always understand why these things happen, but by you so graciously sharing your story, it may help someone else that is or has experienced the same. You are so precious, our thoughts and prayers are with you as you continue to heal.

  48. Merissa,
    I have enjoyed your blogs for such a long time. I am so very sorry you have gone through this. It is good you have looked for help. I always believed that we go through things for a purpose. Often I didn’t understand what God’s purpose was, but I accepted that it was for a reason. God’s love and strength have gotten me through so many things and I know He will care for you, too.
    Love, hugs, and prayers to you.

  49. Praying for your family, I’m from Iowa and I listen to this program on Afr.net called Hannah’s heart
    It’s focused on infertility and miscarriages maybe thier stories can help you or your experience can help them. Not sure why I listen because I’m a grandmother but I have. No need to reply I know your busy. Pray you have a blessed new year. Thank you for all your posts

  50. I am so sorry to hear about what you have endured. I will pray for your continued healing. So sorry. I too went thru infertility and it’s no fun. But you can do it! God will help.

    Continue to be with your family and God. Take it easy. Let joy back into your heart.

    You will be ok. It will take time. But you will be ok!

  51. Dear Merissa:
    What a tough road you have travelled this past few weeks and months. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Please take care of yourself. Not easy with small children, (I know from personal experience), but please take it slow and don’t rush back into anything. Take the time that you need to grieve the loss and heal. A miscarriage is a tough enough event never mind all the extra medical drama that you went through.

  52. Oh sweetie I am so sorry not only for the loss of your child but, all that you have been going through. I will not tell you that the hurt will go away but it will get better with time. The loss of a child no matter how far along is a deep and unfathomable pain. I know you are a Christian and my best thoughts are let the God of all carry you through. I will be praying for you to have a swift and easier recovery. Blessings to you and your sweet family. Darlene

  53. Thank you for sharing. I’m so, so sorry for your loss and all you have been through, physically and emotionally. I will pray that God heals you quickly so you can get back to your peaceful life. Im loving your Living Slower book that I happen to be reading right now. You are a blessing. Exodus 14:14 “The Lord will fight for you, you need only to be still.” ✝️💗🙏

  54. Oh my dear child, what anguish and pain you had to endure. Your patience with the medical personnel was truly a tested. Your love for OUR FATHER, allowed you to prevail. God bless you with a speedy recovery and I will add my prayers too! I’ve been keeping up with you for many years. When I called you child it is because I am 72. Blessings, Sharon

  55. I can’t imagine. But I am so glad you are still here, that you have your husband beside you, and I hope for a speedy recovery for you.

  56. You have gone through so much in a very little time. I am glad to hear you can talk to people about this. I know it’s hard. I will keep you in my thoughts and wish for a speedy recovery. Keep the spirits up and cry when you need to.

  57. You are a strong woman filled with love, as few take the challenge of adoption. I hope you take time and recover. Not just for your sake, but your family. You have suffered trauma. Recognize that and realize healing takes time. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Thank you for your bravery in letting us know your tribulations. I am wishing you and your family a happy and healthy new year.

  58. I am catching up on some email reading, hence my late comment. I am so very sorry to read about what a difficult time you have gone through recently. It sounds like a very frightening time for you and your family. I hope that your body heals and your mind finds peace and comfort.